|what it feels like
||[May. 10th, 2016|02:33 pm]
I bought a bear can last week. A bear can is a can that you put food in to prevent bears from taking it, not (sadly) a can full of bears you can open and throw at your enemies like some kind of bear grenade.
It came in a box with the below instructions printed on the side, many of which are helpful, if obvious. But I'm particularly entranced by the final section that instructs the user not to try fighting a bear for food. Has this been an issue? Did they have a series of consumer complaints where people thought the bear can was intended as a distraction that would allow them to get the better of a bear in hand to hand combat? If it is an issue, shouldn't "don't fight bears" be step fucking one of using the bear can?
Bears are rad and chill most of the time, but they will fuck you up. Loogit this fuggin goon here.
He is maxin' and relaxin' to the absolute hilt, but that's because nobody's trying to put him in a sleeper hold over a ziploc bag full of trail mix. He is a little bear, but even a little bear is a lot more full of claws and teeth than most things.
Guys: Don't fight bears.