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heatray

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what it feels like [May. 10th, 2016|02:33 pm]
heatray

I bought a bear can last week. A bear can is a can that you put food in to prevent bears from taking it, not (sadly) a can full of bears you can open and throw at your enemies like some kind of bear grenade.

It came in a box with the below instructions printed on the side, many of which are helpful, if obvious. But I'm particularly entranced by the final section that instructs the user not to try fighting a bear for food. Has this been an issue? Did they have a series of consumer complaints where people thought the bear can was intended as a distraction that would allow them to get the better of a bear in hand to hand combat? If it is an issue, shouldn't "don't fight bears" be step fucking one of using the bear can?



Bears are rad and chill most of the time, but they will fuck you up. Loogit this fuggin goon here.



He is maxin' and relaxin' to the absolute hilt, but that's because nobody's trying to put him in a sleeper hold over a ziploc bag full of trail mix. He is a little bear, but even a little bear is a lot more full of claws and teeth than most things.

Guys: Don't fight bears.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: badriyaz
2016-05-10 07:43 pm (UTC)
When I worked for the Forest Service in Alaska the running joke was that the bear pepper spray was to make sure you were nicely seasoned for the bear when it came at you.
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[User Picture]From: silentq
2016-05-10 09:07 pm (UTC)
I didn't carry bear spray in Wyoming, partially because of warnings like this:

Use with extreme caution—if not used properly, it can disable the user, rather than the attacker


Also found while looking for that text:
Bicycle bear spray kozee.
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[User Picture]From: badriyaz
2016-05-11 02:46 pm (UTC)
Seems like it might have more urban use than practicality against bears :-/
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[User Picture]From: silentq
2016-05-11 03:34 pm (UTC)
There's a growing mountain bike camping movement (bikepacking) along with the popularisation of the Great Divide off-road trail, so I could see the holster being potentially useful on one of those trips.
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[User Picture]From: jasonlizard
2016-05-16 02:52 am (UTC)
For once, I wish there were a "like" button in LJ. This is great.
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[User Picture]From: sarah_swati
2016-05-11 01:53 am (UTC)
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE
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[User Picture]From: panzerkunst
2016-05-13 02:03 am (UTC)
Support your right to arm bears!
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[User Picture]From: iterum
2016-05-15 05:31 am (UTC)
"He will lose interest in it and leave on his own free will."

Bears have free will? This is theologically fascinating!
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